Houston, Texas

Squirrels in casinos put their nuts in a vice.

Buenos Aires, Argentina

Hiding the bodies in your dumpster makes for a dead giveaway.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Bad saturdays make for weak ends.

Seattle, Washington

I used to love her, but I had tequilla.

New York, New York

It's fun to not believe in fun.

Baltimore, MD

Life's only constant is change.

Ocean Grove, NJ

Spinning back your energy meter makes you a joule thief.